"Why don't you try Match.com?"

This was how the conversation with my dad started the other day. 

So, how do I explain online dating and its perils and pitfalls to my father? My dad is happily married to my mom, has been for 30+ years (as far as I can tell, anyway), meaning he's been out of the dating world for three decades. And honestly, I'm not sure how much "dating" he ever did...

Anyway, online dating. In theory I think it's a brilliant idea, you can accept or reject options on your own time, from your living room, in your pajamas, without hurting anyone. Ah, but that's just what they want you to think. What online dating ulitmately boils down to is one blind date after another!

See, most online dating sites have similar setups, and yes I've tried more than one. They start with a profile and a picture. You can then either search or be matched with appropriate  members of whichever sex you're interested (and some sites do allow for same-sex pairings). At this point the "free" membership usually ends and in order to move foward with actually communicating you need to become a paying member. From here you exchange likes/dislikes - not moving to the next step until each person has "viewed" the other one - then onto answering pre-chosen questions - again no moving ahead until both have "read" the answers. Finally, you may reach the point where you can email each other (this is still done through the dating site to preserve privacy, etc.). 

Not too bad so far - hopefully you've learned a bit about each other, seen a few photos, you're ready to chat. Ah, but how long do you email? Do you exchange phone numbers? Agree to meet in person (yikes!)? Finally one of you gets up the guts to suggest a meeting...and at this point, you've invested some time and energy into this you might as well go. And now we have a glorified "blind date". Yes, I know, technically you know something about each other and it's not blind if you've exchanged photos, etc. but really, when it comes down to the chemistry (or lack thereof) that you feel when in another's presence, for all intents and purposes the meeting is a blind date.

And this is where I have problems...I can usually tell within the first 15-30 min whether this is someone I'm going to want to see again. And yet, I've invested time and energy into the "matching" process...and we look good on paper...so I feel like my gut might just be wrong and I might as well go out a 2nd time. However, by this date I'm bored, I'm feeling guilty for saying yes when I knew I wasn't interested and now he thinks I might be. So all the advantages of online dating - the anonimity, the impersonal rejections, etc. - go out the window. 

So yes, I have tried Match.com and others. I will probably try them again. But, for me, it boils down to the in person meeting. Do we connect? Does he make me laugh? Do I want to make him laugh? How hard is it to not call him right away? And I would rather know these things before I know how many siblings he has and what his favorite color is. Give me a casual introduction at a party by mutual friends over online dating any day.